Making Mornings Manageable Using Lists for Kids

We've gone through several iterations of chore charts as we've tried to help our kids learn to self-manage their morning routines. They all ended up being too much work for us and them. We would use the system for a couple weeks then forget about it for a while and return to nagging all morning long..

Finally, we came up with the idea of printing single-use lists on quarter-sheets of paper. We've found many advantages:

• The kids can get a new one from the stack each morning without help.
• They can carry it around as they get things done.
• Completed lists can be collected without having to worry about cleaning the chart for next week.
• Completing a list helps create a sense of accomplishment that a row or column on a chart cannot.
• The process of writing today's date on the list helps them learn to read a calendar and write dates.

When we started using single-use lists, our kids weren't all able to read yet, so we came up with a picture version so the kids could use it without reading it, but as they learn to recognize the words, they begin reading those words by sight.

How We Use The Lists

The Allowance Connection: Our older kids are given a weekly allowance at the end of each week based on a combination of completed lists and overall helpfulness. They get $0.25 for each completed list from Monday to Friday (5 lists x $0.25 = $1.25) and up to $0.75 awarded at our discretion based on their consistency in obeying and helping. Sometimes we will explicitly tell them they've lost a quarter for one specific failure, but usually we give them all of the non-list amount unless it has been a consistently problem week.

Morning Routine: When the are asked to wake up (first item on the list is to get up the first time asked), we give them a fixed amount of time to make their beds and get dressed. The amount of time depends on their age and ability to read time. After that, they pick up a list and a marker from the designated list supply, check off the first three items (get up, make bed, get dressed) and work their way down the list. Instead of the parents having to assess what each kid has done and what remains undone, all we have to do is ask "how's your list coming?" or remind them to keep on moving through their list. The "tidy house" task requires a parent to tour the house and verify that it is indeed tidy; all the other list items are mostly self-supervising. Our expectation is that their lists are done before breakfast with the exception of brushing their teeth. The kids present their completed list for a signature at the end of the morning before going off to school. A list is considered complete if all applicable tasks were carried out. Tasks on the list that don't apply that morning are circled instead of checked. Getting all but one item done earns nothing. We keep the completed lists in a designated spot until we review them and give out allowances. The kids keep their own money in a bank or purse in their room.

Notes on Specific Tasks:

• Get up the first time - This is a great list item. Since we've instituted this as a part of the list, we have zero laying around in bed. It can take some kids a few weeks to work through the disappointment of failing to complete their lists on the very first item, but that natural consequence is a good motivator.
• Put away clean clothes - Around our house clothes get washed and folded and laid on a counter. The kids are responsible to put those clothes away in their rooms. Rhoda works with them to help them organize and keep organized their drawers and shelves.
• Get lunch ready - At this stage of development our kids get everything except their sandwich ready for their lunch. Later, we'll have them make the whole thing.
• Tidy house - A tidy house is everyone's responsibility, so after kids put away their own messes, they are expected to help clean up any mess they find. If they complain, we remind them how many times we parents clean up after them so they should have no trouble helping others in the house.

Words of Caution on Connecting Allowances and Lists: We have made it a household policy that morning tasks are not optional for children who claim they don't want any money. Completing a list gets you money, but not completing your tasks in the morning will get you into the same trouble as any other form of disobedience. Offering your kids money is no substitute for training your children to obey and to be responsible. If the concept of training sounds intriguing to you, check out the awesome book, Child Training Tips. We should also add that our kids' allowance money is the only source they can turn to for impulse or "extra" stuff. If they want to go to Chuck E. Cheese's when there is not a party happening, they spend their hard-earned money. Funny how unappealing Chuck E. Cheese becomes! If they see something in the store they "must have" we ask them if it is worth "two weeks allowance" or whatever the price might be. Spending a whole month's allowance on something they don't really need helps them recognize the value of money and to evaluate purchase decisions.